Historically, I have felt a strong urge to fill conversational pauses and awkward silences by speaking. I’m not sure if that’s personality specific or human nature in general, but it’s certainly a tendency I’ve had. Over time, I’ve come to appreciate doing so is a sure-fire way to inhibit shy or more reflective individuals from surfacing their thoughts. A common example most people have experienced is having a presentation host pause for Q&A and say “Ok, does anyone have any questions?” and then almost immediately move on, to the detriment of those who were coming around to ask their question.

It’s even more important to allow for long pauses in one-on-one conversations, where the individual you’re speaking with likely needs even more time before verbalizing their thoughts. The more sensitive or delicate the topic (e.g., compensation, an error, poor performance, etc.), the more important it is to allow for a long enough pause. Ideally, you want to allow for a pause that is long enough it would be genuinely awkward in normal discourse. If it is, you’re probably waiting long enough. The more you practice sitting through these long pauses, the easier it becomes. Through repetition, I now find I have an awareness of a long pause without feeling an urge to fill it.

If you can make it a habit, you’ll quickly see how powerful it can be. People tend to share a more vulnerable perspective if you create the space for it. And the best part is while it may feel like an eternity, we are probably talking about five to ten seconds. Try to be deliberate about stewing in the awkward silence.

It’s almost certain you will work for multiple companies throughout your career. All roles have a start and end date; that’s not a bad thing. And so, it’s likely that on multiple occasions you will have to quit your job. When you do, it’s in your best interest to Leave Well. While you will work for multiple companies, you only have one professional reputation.

Here are a few elements of “Leaving Well”.

• Provide generous notice. The amount of notice needs to be calibrated based on the seniority of your role and the scope of your responsibility. The more senior and more scope, the longer the notice period. For most junior, individual contributor roles, two weeks is the standard. I would recommend offering three, when possible. If you are in a Director/VP role or Head of a function, I would recommend a minimum of three, ideally four. If you are in the C-suite, you should offer four and be open to more as necessary as part of a transition discussion. What I’m referring to is what I would offer; in some cases, the company will prefer a shorter timeframe and that’s ok. If you can treat it as a conversation and start with a generous offer, you will immediately build goodwill. You’re signaling your intent to be supportive and helpful as you leave.
• Transition your work. Do your best to set your future ex-colleagues and clients (if applicable) up for success. Leaving without any hidden skeletons or future fires is a good way to enhance the positive sentiment folks will have about you when you’re gone.
• Work hard after you give notice. I know from personal experience this can be really challenging. After giving notice, your mind naturally shifts to what’s next, which makes it difficult to remain engaged or frankly care much about the work you’re doing for a company you’re leaving. That’s why you need to make a conscious effort to work hard, maybe even harder than you’ve worked the past six months, to garner a positive impression on the way out. Remind yourself it’s only a few weeks.
• Maintain professionalism and express gratitude. Try to be gracious. Focus on the good and leave the bad. Express gratitude to those you can. Even if you don’t quite feel as positive as you show up, try to focus on the best parts of your experience. Never trash talk or speak negatively about people or the company as you leave.

It’s common knowledge that first impressions are critical. Much less consideration is directed at last impressions, and they are almost as important as first ones. They represent the memory your former colleagues, boss, and leadership team will carry of you.

Ideally, you want to leave a company and have your colleagues, your boss, and the leadership team all have a strong positive impression of you. It’s hard to predict when or how this will be important, but it is. It might be a blind reference for a future role you’re interested in; it might be how your name ends up as a recommendation for a future role at an entirely different company. Many folks you work with today will leave their roles at some point, and work for other companies, and so the “world is a small place” is particularly true within any given industry and geography. To leave with a positive perception will aid you in your career. And relative to the length of your career, the effort required to Leave Well is low.

This advice is true regardless of whether you’re already positively perceived in the organization or not. If you’ve built a really strong reputation the past few years, don’t dilute it in the last few weeks. If you’ve had some bumps leading up to your resignation, try and enhance people’s perception of you as you exit.

If you’re reading this and thinking, I am so sick of my company. That’s why I’m quitting. I can’t wait to be gone. They suck, the leadership sucks, most of my colleagues suck, why would I ever do THEM a favour on the way out, then I will re-iterate: this is about benefitting you. Take the high road out of self-interest. Like all principles, there are exceptions, and in particularly brutal work situations, maybe this doesn’t make sense. But those are rare. Generally, try your best to Leave Well.

I was a bit hesitant to write this post. I have an inherent and conscious bias towards folks leaving well, given my role. But this advice is exactly what I would share with my wife, sister, or any of my closest friends. In my relatively short career, I have already seen how leaving well (or not) can impact someone and I genuinely believe it’s a relatively easy, often overlooked action that’s worth taking.