A few months ago, Julia made a comment to me about advocating on her behalf during labour. I was confused. Don’t we heed the advice of the physicians in the room and do what they tell us? They are the experts, after all. Afterwards, and mostly thanks to our participation in a “birth and babies” class run by Alberta Health, I was educated on the various decisions that typically occur during labour and how a partner’s advocacy on behalf of the birthing parent is critical. The birthing parent is so consumed by labour they may not be able to advocate for themselves.

Our own labour experience involved a few decisions, which served as an important reminder that despite best intentions, deep expertise, and a desire to help, medical practitioners are no different than those in any other profession: they have their own biases, preferences, and opinions. Not to suggest that is a bad thing, but to acknowledge it as a reality. And decisions in healthcare can certainly be judgement based, involving a degree of subjectivity.

If I reflect on my own interactions with healthcare professionals over the years, I believe I’ve generally taken a “passenger” approach and deferred to the authority of the professional I’ve seen. And I’m not sure that’s always been the best approach. I intend to take a more assertive approach in the future. No one is as incentivized or motivated to advocate on your behalf than yourself, including your physician, which is why it’s critical to advocate for yourself.

On Wednesday, June 19, Julia and I welcomed our son, Henry Jack Owen Cord to this world. Fifteen days early! I had a long list of to-do’s I was hoping to work through before his due date and going on leave, including pre-writing some Blog content, which clearly didn’t happen! So that’s all I’ve got this week. It was a good week.

In anticipation of our baby arriving in four weeks, I moved from what was formerly my office and now baby room to Julia’s office. It happened quickly one morning to accommodate some carpentry work being done in my office, so Julia didn’t have time to vacate before I moved in. It was an amusing office change because Julia’s desk was a total shit show. It was covered in papers, sticky notes, half-burnt candles, and random unused electronics. Not a great environment to begin the working day.

To rewind a few years, Onex underwent a major office renovation while I was working there. About two years in, the renovation was completed, and I moved into a gorgeous new private office at the top of Brookfield Place overlooking Toronto Island and the CN tower. It was a fantastic perk of working there. When we moved into the new offices, we were informed that Gerry (the founder) had one hard rule he expected everyone in a private office to follow: nothing was to be left out or be visible on the desks when you went home at night. This was met with eye rolling and frustration from most employees, myself included. A lot of my day was spent reading research, presentations, and taking written notes. I generally worked with a lot of hard copy paper and prior to moving into the new office most of my desktop real estate was occupied by stacks of it. If the expectation is I’m working into all hours of the evening then why should the senior team care how much stuff is on my desk?

Despite my grumbling, I complied with the request to clear my desk each night. At first, I did the bare minimum: I would re-locate stacks of paper into a filing cabinet at night and pull them all out again and spread them across my desk every morning. This became tedious. So over time, I started to sort, dispose, and recycle contents more frequently so the volume of ‘stuff’ on my desk was more manageable.

And then over the course of a few months, I began to really appreciate coming in and starting my day with a clean desk every morning. It turned into a habit I’ve maintained since. Having a clean and organized desk helps the mind feel clean and organized. At least it does for me. I’m grateful for being forced into the habit. If your desk looks like Julia’s, give it a try for a week and see how you feel.