For most of my school years, I liked school. I always enjoyed learning. And I was always a strong but not exceptional student. In grade 12, knowing my grades would determine access to Universities I took class much more seriously and excelled academically. I applied and was accepted into Ivey’s Advance Entrance Opportunity (AEO) program, which guarantees acceptance into the two-year business program beginning the third year of post-secondary, conditional upon maintaining a strong academic record (80%+ average) and extra curricular involvement.

Then I had a rough transition from high school to university. After a decade of spending most of my time with an extremely tight knit group of friends I grew up with, I went to university and had to largely start from scratch. I wasn’t particularly engaged in my coursework and ended up barely attending class. The lack of structure wasn’t good for me. I stayed up late and struggled to get up in the morning. I smoked too much, gained about 30 pounds, and started to get bad acne.  My grades slipped. In my first year, I finished with a high 70’s average and missed the 80 required to preserve my AEO status. In second year, I moved into a house with a group of friends and established a better routine; started to exercise a little bit and attend classes more, but still not much. I finished second year with just under an 80 average, which meant my first two-year average was below the threshold needed for AEO; fortunately, they did consider other factors, such as grades in certain pre-requisite courses, which were my best, and extra curricular activities. Offers were extended on a rolling basis and I can recall everyone I knew in the AEO program receiving one before me. Thankfully, I scraped through and received my acceptance in the final round. I was thrilled albeit a bit ashamed about jeopardizing the opportunity.

On the first day of school at Ivey, I can remember the Dean giving a welcome speech. In essence, “if you are in this program then you have excelled academically and in extra curriculars thus far in life. Everyone in this room is used to being a 90’s student and you will have to re-calibrate your expectations now that you’ve entered this program”. All I could think was, well fuck me. I don’t deserve to be here.

And then classes started and fortunately, I loved them. I found the content engaging. The smaller classroom sizes and case study teaching method resonated, and I started to enjoy school again. I was generally shy and didn’t participate often but I enjoyed it. It was a fantastic first term and turning point in my secondary academic experience. At the end of the first semester, grades were released. Ivey uses a tight bell curve with 80% being the class average. I received an 81%. Surprisingly, I was really disappointed. Based on my day-to-day experience in the classroom, I felt like I could do much better.

So after receiving my first semester grade, I decided two things: I would put my hand up and participate in every single class. No exceptions. And I would say “yes” and apply to every single extra curricular opportunity, no matter how busy I was. I would find the time to take it on. Throughout that second term, I stuck to my commitments and raised my average closer to 90.

I didn’t get any smarter between my first and second semester. But I did dramatically change my mindset. I stopped thinking “I’m so lucky to be here, I hope they don’t realize I’m a fraud” and started thinking “I deserve to be here”. I have and continue to believe that mindset and mantras can be extremely powerful tools in impacting your behaviors. What you believe about yourself will manifest in how you behave and there is an uncanny ability to influence your life based on those beliefs.

Gifts (i.e., presents) become a lot less meaningful when you’re an adult, have a job, and can mostly buy the things you want when you like. But when you’re a child, a big part of the excitement around your Birthday or holidays like Christmas are the gifts. For a while now, most of our family (Julia excluded), has been deliberately scaling back the material gift giving around holidays. And for good reason. I mean, do you really need another sweater? I’m slightly embarrassed to say when the weather turned this year, I counted 22 sweaters in my closet. That’s silly.

…but having said that, there is something so delightful about receiving, or even better, giving, a gift that hits just right. When you find something unique that demonstrates a deep understanding of the person’s interests or wants, it is so satisfying. And it doesn’t need to be expensive or an item necessarily. It just needs to satisfy the recipient. I’m planning to start keeping a mini tracker of gift ideas for family, friends, and colleagues because I often struggle to come up with a great idea when it’s time-sensitive around the event. Hopefully, it pays off this year and if not, well, there’s always another sweater!

I was listening to a podcast this week where the guest responded to a question on his definition of success. Much of what mattered to him doesn’t to me so I thought it would be interesting to take a crack at my own definition. It’s a fun exercise.

My definition of success looks like…

• Maintaining high-quality relationships with your spouse, family, and friends;
• Having agency and a very high degree of control (within reason) over your schedule and how time is spent;
• Spending time pursuing physical and intellectual challenges that are rewarding to accomplish and in which the pursuit itself is gratifying regardless of the outcome;
• Feeling your professional time and efforts matter, can make a meaningful impact, and relate to a field you’re passionate about;
• Spending professional time working with people you enjoy working with;
• Continuously learning;
• Having sufficient wealth so a) money takes up a minimal amount of mental energy and plays a small role in most decisions, and b) affords you the ability to dine out as often as you’d like, and to order what you’d like without too much consideration for price; and
• Living an authentic life where you feel you show up both socially and professionally as your true self.

I didn’t spend too much time on this so I’m not certain it’s exhaustive, but these all came to mind quickly.

It will be fun to look back at this in a few years and see if anything changes.