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  • Celebrate with authenticity

    I tend to naturally gravitate towards, and sometimes obsess over, what’s not working well. As a result, I can forget to celebrate wins and recognize people for successful projects or work. Over time, I’ve become more deliberate and intentional about recognizing great efforts from teams or individuals and making sure to celebrate and re-enforce those behaviors. That’s not shocking or novel: I think most people believe it’s important to highlight positive behaviors and celebrate your wins, sometimes even the small ones.

    But one thing I’ve reflected on lately is whether that sentiment can go too far, and the not so nice to say but belief I have is yes, it can. When EVERYTHING is celebrated, even the most basic expectations, it dilutes the celebration of the real wins. For example, if everything is a wonderful, amazing, exceptional accomplishment… well then nothing is.

    People tend to have different stylistic preferences for recognition, but everyone values knowing whether they are doing a good job or not. Even the best performers want their achievements to be celebrated; however, nothing is worse than watering down their accomplishments by celebrating insignificant events. And the team members who require a celebration for performing the basic routine elements of their job may not be the team members you want on your team long term.

    Let’s say you’re the quality manager for a manufacturing plant that produces steel parts for a major auto OEM. You have a team of three associates and are onboarding a new fourth team member. Part of the job requires you to review finished parts coming off the line and identify pieces with deficiencies. In the first week, the new member spots a deficiency, so the manager makes a point of celebrating it during the end of week wrap up… that’s awesome! It may be routine, but it’s a new task and this person is onboarding, so it feels good to be recognized for learning. But if six months later, the quality manager is making a point of celebrating an identified deficiency at the end of the week, it may not feel as good, when that is a routine element of the job all members are expected to perform. When disconnected from the effort required, overcelebration can become inauthentic, forced, or even demotivating.

    It’s important to be deliberate about celebrating the wins, but make sure you only do it when it’s genuine.

  • Receiving feedback well

    Hopefully, you’re already bought into the concept that feedback makes you a better professional, and you’ve made a practice of seeking it regularly. If so, it’s important to intentionally receive feedback well. If you identify as a strong performer and take pride in your work, even if you genuinely want feedback and believe it will make you better, receiving it well can be challenging and require practice.

    Receiving feedback well means receiving the information without attempting to defend yourself or justify your behavior. If you start to experience the temptation to disagree, try to resist acting on it, particularly when someone first communicates it. It’s important to actively listen and digest (sometimes easier said than done). Acknowledge the feedback and be grateful for it. Importantly, if any part of it resonates with you, make an effort to action it quickly. Demonstrating action is an important part of receiving feedback well.

    I have found receiving feedback regarding something you’re already self-aware about can be particularly difficult. You might already be working on it and receiving known information can be frustrating. But receiving it well pays off. Many managers, particularly junior managers, will struggle to provide explicit feedback regularly. The better you receive it, the more likely and more often you will get it.

    The more senior you are, the more important it is to receive feedback well. If someone has worked up the courage to share with you, the boss, an opportunity and suggestion to improve, make damn sure you receive it well.

  • Getting feedback when you’re the Boss

    Receiving feedback when you’re the boss can be challenging. If you’re responsible for performance, compensation, and have the authority to fire someone, then you’re in a position of power. And if you’re in a position of power, you’re unlikely to get candid feedback from direct reports by asking them outright. Even if you’re not someone’s direct boss, but are in a leadership position, it can be challenging to get candid feedback by asking. And the bigger the gap in position, the more pronounced this is likely to be (e.g., the CEO can’t simply ask a junior employee for feedback and expect an authentic response).

    You can always pick up on implicit feedback indirectly through your interactions, but that’s less valuable than receiving explicit feedback. Some organizations have formalized processes in place to facilitate upwards feedback (e.g., ‘360 degree’ reviews), which can be valuable tools but are insufficient in totality. Whether you have a formalized 360 review process or not, there are some tactics I’ve found useful in facilitating a feedback conversation as the boss.

    1. Ask the question “what would you do differently in my shoes?”

      This feels safer to respond to than “what could I be doing better?”, even though you might receive a similar response. It can be asked generally and in reference to a specific topic or decision.

    2. If your direct report previously had a boss in a similar position, try “what are 1 to 3 things you admired about your previous boss that I might be able to learn from?”

      I’ve found this to be highly effective, albeit there’s some nuance in that your direct report might admire something you already do well or isn’t as relevant for you.

    3. If your direct report hasn’t had a boss in a similar position, you can try “Is there a previous leader you’ve particularly admired? If someone comes to mind, is there anything I could learn from their leadership qualities?”

      Similar but less useful than #2, as it becomes more general.

    4. Ask your direct report “What advice would you have for me on this topic?”

      This works well in drawing candour but is likely only in reference to a specific topic.

    5. Ask your direct report for 1-3 things you should ‘stop, start, and continue’.

      Phrasing it in a simple and common performance framework can make the question more approachable but I’ve had limited success with this one, likely because of the explicit nature.

    6. Ask them outright. “I’m keen to learn and improve. What are some areas for improvement you can share with me?”

      Due to the power imbalance and dynamic this may not uncover much. Even with folks you have a high degree of psychological safety and trust with. It may work better with more direct personalities.

    If you read this and have any other good suggestions to share, I’d love to hear them.