David

  • A 10/10 Dining Experience

    I love food. It’s something I’m incredibly passionate about and absorbs a lot of my mind share. I wake up and think about what’s for breakfast… after I have breakfast, I’m thinking about what’s for lunch. After lunch, you guessed it, I’ve got dinner on my mind. It’s not a burden; it’s a joy. Every meal is a treat in its own way.

    Years ago, whenever I was asked for restaurant recommendations, I found myself drawing a blank in the moment, or defaulting to the most recent places I’d eaten. So I started to track restaurants in a sheet and rate my first experience there as a way to quickly build a reference guide and better serve others with recommendations. You can access my Calgary list Here. I only recently started one for Toronto so it’s a little lacklustre, but I’ve included it here as well. The ratings are totally subjective and lack a formal framework; however, you’ll clearly notice one thing: there isn’t a single 10/10 rating. That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed some amazing meals. But even my best dining experiences have had opportunity for improvement. That’s not a Calgary or Toronto specific phenomenon; I can’t remember finishing a meal, including at three Michelin star restaurants, and thinking “that was 10/10”… until two weekends ago.

    Two weekends ago I went to Prince Edward County with family and on Saturday night, we ate at Darlings. It was a 10/10 experience. This got me thinking, what conditions are necessary to have a 10/10 dining experience? On reflection, I believe it’s excellence across a combination of these factors: (a) atmosphere, (b) food, (c) company, and (d) service. I’ve added some commentary below on what stood out in this regard.

    1. Atmosphere. Atmosphere is a combination of ambience and setting. What vibe does the restaurant give off? Is it good-noisy or bad-noisy? Is the dishware a nice compliment or an awkward setting? At Darlings, the setting was unique and ‘cool’ – it’s situated in what feels like an old house, in a residential neighborhood. The lighting is dim and the music was great; it was loud, but good-loud. There were only four tables and bar seating, which created an intimate and “special” atmosphere. The atmosphere was complimentary to and matched the menu, which was served family style.
    2. Food. Food is a combination of taste, quality, and consistency. What stood out about Darlings, is that I loved every single dish. Even at very high-end restaurants, I find there’s nearly always at least one or two dishes which are “pretty good”, but not great. To try more than 5 dishes and love every single one is a rare treat, and for a restaurant, a tall feat.
    3. Company. It’s impossible to have a 10/10 dining experience if you don’t really enjoy the company you’re with. Fortunately, this one is (almost) always in your (the diner’s) control!
    4. Service. Fantastic service dramatically enhances the overall dining experience. A server who is assertive, knowledgeable, attentive but not overbearing, and has a positive attitude will elevate your meal. A little hipster sass is ok, to a point. We had all this and more at Darlings, including a strong Manager who pitched in when needed. Post-COVID, there’s clearly been a general degradation in Service levels, which only highlights how important it is to the overall dining experience.

    Two considerations I’ve excluded are price/value and consistency of experience among diners. I believe assessing a dining experience should be largely independent of the price to allow for broad comparability, albeit with some calibration (e.g., I’m assessing Sunday morning Dim Sum differently than a Michelin star restaurant, even though both can be excellent or poor dining experiences). And while ideally the entire group feels similarly about a dining experience, it’s ultimately a personal perspective.

    I also haven’t addressed the quality of the drinks menu. While certainly a component of the overall meal, I personally haven’t found the quality of the drinks menu to be as influential to the dining experience as the other factors listed above (i.e., if I’m having a shit dining experience, a great cocktail probably won’t change that; if I’m having an incredible experience, a limited wine list is unlikely to change that). It also allows for better comparability across meal types (i.e., breakfast/brunch, lunch, and dinner).

    I welcome any feedback or input on this framework. Also, I’m always on the hunt for great dining experiences and welcome any Toronto or Calgary recommendations.

    *I felt compelled to write about Darlings… back to regular content next week.

  • Lean Into the Emotion

    There are many times in your professional and personal life when you’re going to be put in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe even severely uncomfortable. Our natural tendency is to try to mask that discomfort and present an air of confidence. We don’t want to appear weak or vulnerable. And of course, the more significant the discomfort, the less likely we are to successfully accomplish presenting confidently.

    Common situations can create the opportunity for real discomfort: a) interviewing for a job you really want, b) giving a presentation in front of a big group, c) having a challenging performance conversation with a direct report, d) terminating someone’s employment, e) declining a job offer, etc. etc.

    A highly valuable tip I received several years ago, is to lean into the emotion. Instead of putting on the air of confidence, take the opposite approach: start off by acknowledging the discomfort. “I’m really nervous to be presenting in front of everyone today.”. “I’m feeling a bit anxious about this conversation, even though I know we need to have it”.

    People are excellent at picking up when you’re feeling uncomfortable, regardless of whether you acknowledge it or not. If you authentically lean into the emotion and address it head on, you’re more likely to garner empathy and understanding from your audience, whether a group of people or an individual. We tend to root for the underdog, or someone struggling. It’s human nature. By leaning into the emotion, you’re bringing the audience onto your side. Lean into the emotion to start and you’re more likely to set yourself up for success. It will have the added bonus of quieting whatever emotion you’re feeling.  

    This only works if you describe an emotion you are genuinely experiencing. Don’t say “I’m feeling nervous”, if you’re not, or you’ll likely produce the opposite effect.

  • LinkedIn vs. Reality

    I quit Facebook in ~2018 and Instagram in ~2020. I ultimately found what I was receiving from these apps vs. what it was costing me to be a net negative trade off. It was easier to leave Facebook. By 2018, my news feed was mostly weird political commentary from people I hadn’t spoken to since Highschool. Instagram, on the other hand, was more challenging. What did it for me was going down a 45-minute rabbit hole on a Toronto Chef’s profile and finding myself having an imaginary argument with them over their content. Once I pulled myself out of the rabbit hole, I realized I was sitting in my living room legitimately pissed off at some person I’ve never met who doesn’t know I exist. That felt pathetic enough to motivate me to delete the app. At the time, I decided if I really missed it after 30 days, I’d re-download it. And I didn’t.

    With Instagram and Facebook gone, that left LinkedIn as my last remaining social media vice. LinkedIn has always been billed as the ‘Professional network’ and as a result, receives a somewhat morally superior treatment; we don’t typically speak about LinkedIn addiction in the same vein we might Instagram or Tik Tok. But over the last decade, LinkedIn has transformed itself from a job site to a comprehensive professional social media network. With this transformation, there’s been a surge in non-hiring related information: lots of professional learnings, stories of success and failure, and general commentary around topical professional subjects (e.g., in-office vs. home, ‘the great resignation’, ‘quiet quitting’, etc.).

    As a professional focused network, you might expect the content to exhibit less of the “distorted reality” phenomenon plaguing Instagram (i.e., people solely highlighting their best and proudest moments to create an exclusively positive/happy/beautiful image). I’ve found that to be only partially true. Over time, there seems to be more of the themes you see on other social media platforms: an influx and rise of influencers, stories that are hyperbolic in nature, and lots of distorted reality.

    It’s easy to get caught up in other people or company’s portrayed successes and play the comparison game. I try to remind myself that often the reality of all situations you see on Social Media – including LinkedIn – are probably not as good or as bad as they are presented. A few interesting examples of topics I’ve seen on LinkedIn, which present an overly positive or negative image relative to reality:

    • LinkedIn: “Zoom CEO sets standard among Public company CEOs by reducing salary to $1 following mass layoffs.”
    • Reality: Zoom CEO reduces salary to $1, 12 months after selling hundreds of millions of dollars worth of stock.
    • LinkedIn: “We’re so proud to be among the fastest growing companies!”
    • Reality: We invested massively in growth in the last 24 months. This may or may not be sustainable and to accommodate a much more challenging investment environment, we may have to consider a layoff in the next six months.
    • LinkedIn: “We’ve been awarded a Great Place to Work designation, again!”
    • Reality: We paid a for-profit enterprise $3,500 for a Great Place to Work designation. We may have an amazing culture, but you’ll need more information to validate that.
    • LinkedIn: “It’s 2023 and remote office culture is officially dead. Back to the office!”
    • Reality: Some companies will return to the office and thrive. Some companies will preserve their remote/distributed working environment and thrive. Building a great culture requires intentionality regardless of a physical location (or lack thereof).  

    There is, in fact, lots of high quality content and I’ve learned a decent amount through LinkedIn over the years. Nonetheless, while LinkedIn may position itself in a slightly different category as other mainstream consumer social media (e.g., Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok), it’s helpful to keep in mind it possesses many of the same qualities (good and bad).